


Sherlock's Logs

by Jo_McKeon



Series: Of Sentiment and other dreams. [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV), johnlock - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 04:34:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11433261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jo_McKeon/pseuds/Jo_McKeon





	1. Logs

**Log Book 1: John Returns to Baker Street**

 

* * *

  
**Entry 1**

  
John has spent more time at Baker Street. Time Rosie has been left in my care has increased. Rosie's growth and development has been above normal. See Log 32 RMW for data.

 

* * *

 

  
**Entry 26**

  
John spent the night. Rosie could not sleep. I played Lullaby 7. John passed out on the sofa.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 29**

  
John brought a cot for 'when Rosie needs to nap'. He almost broke it, trying to assemble it. I had to take over and save it from it's inevitable demise.


	2. Logs

**Entry 33**

  
John brought a tub of formula for emergencies.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 34**

  
Rosie hates the formula.  
*Note: must research formulas.

 

* * *

 

**Entry 123**

  
Experiment 89:  
Results: Comparison of Formula has narrowed down to top formulas: #16, #21, #96, #102, #104  
Further analysis:Must conduct taste test.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 131**

  
Experiment 97: Taste test comparison #7  
Results: preferred formulas narrowed down to #21, #96 & #104  
Further analysis: Further taste test will be conducted with the subject (Rosie).

 

* * *

  
**Entry 133**

  
Experiment 99: Taste test Comparison #9  
Results: Subject has not shown preference in formula (yet). But her bowel movements have rejected formula #21.  
Further Analysis: Compare taste test of Formula #96 & #104.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 150**

  
John has brought more emergency formula. Will use when conducting taste test comparison. Perhaps the vast difference of the inadequate emergency formula with the organic premium formula will provide a final result in preference.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 154**

  
Rosie is a very clever child.  
After conducting the last experiment, the subject has chosen formula #104. The box has a bee on it. Although I have conducted thorough research and taste tests myself and with the subject, I hope her choice was not based on the erroneous image of such a complex member of the genus apis. The Bombus.  
  



	3. Logs

 

**Entry 159**

  
Rosie has a preference for the erroneous image of the complex member, the Bombus

 

* * *

  
**Entry 160**

  
I found a semi-adequate plush in the form of the Bombus. Rosie seems to enjoy its company.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 186**

  
John has spent more nights at Baker Street with Rosie sleeping in the cot than anticipated. Beginning to hope for the permanence of their stay.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 193**

  
It seems my hopes might not have been wrong. Data leans to its success.  
Necessary equipment has been ordered. To begin assembly of furniture, organization of closet drawers and much needed table, as soon as possible. Must have room ready for their comfort.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 200**

  
Upstairs room almost complete. Have gone through Rosie's things, but most are inadequate. Have ordered new clothes. Yellow silk hangers have arrived. They are so... small.  
Crib and table seem adequate but lacking in aesthetic appeal to Rosie. John doesn't know yet, but needed Rosie's approval. Sketches of members of the genus apis are done and awaiting Raz to assist.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 212**

  
John spent the night in his room.  
Not sure if he has even noticed the changes.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 356**

  
John has been more free with his touching and compliments.  
Not sure what this means.  
Need more data.

 

* * *

 


	4. Logs

 

**Entry 376**

  
Confusing data.  
Found John asleep in rocking chair when picking Rosie up for our night concerto e merenda.  
Helped him to bed. I said: "Rest, John. I have Rosie... We'll be fine"  
" Yes, we will.." he slurred in his sleep.  
Not sure why but transport moved to rest hand on his shoulder. John placed his on mine. The transport seemed to lose all activity. Was not sure if John was conscious. But a light vibration of the respiratory structures confirmed his slumber.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 376B**

  
John had a nightmare. He spoke very little during it. I played the melody I composed for the event but it was ineffective this time.  
He came downstairs in paranoia. With the bottle of paraffinum liquidum as a weapon. He is quite clever! He could splatter it in the perpetrator's eyes and blind him giving him enough time to get the upper hand.  
He became agitated when we discussed my assistance of Rosie. She wouldn't let go of my finger. I never intended to replace Mary in this, but Rosie needed my assistance. John discovered us and I apologized. However, he was agitated and roused Rosie with a fright.  
I went to pick up my violin to assist but Rosie betrayed me! She called me her special word, right there, in front of John. Even though we had a pact.  
John, however, did not... was not angered. It seems he welcomed the idea. Since Rosie would not let me play the song and she insisted on my assistance, and John wasn't mad... I conducted an experiment.  
I turned the player to Rosie's favourite song and turned to John for her. He was surprised but instantly extended his hand to me. I could not leave it outstretched like that. So, I took it and asked for Rosie. Since John wouldn't let go of my hand, I helped him to his chair and began the experiment.  
I danced with Rosie until her small transport gave in to slumber. John never took his eyes off of us. I didn't either. I simply had to record data.  
Could this mean? Do I dare hope?  
Must conduct more experiments before the event.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 376 C**

  
John discovered Rosie and I during our morning rituals after his nap.  
Rosie insisted on giggling relentlessly despite all attempted reasonings.  
John distracted me and she knocked her food on my face. I tried cleaning up with whatever was close. Apparently I missed some and John… he… wiped it with his thumb and sucked it. It had been on the corner of my lower lip. He was warm. I could feel his pulse racing. Could this mean? Perhaps my mind is fabricating images on so many hopeful, imagined scenarios.  
But perhaps not.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 377**

  
(an image pasted on the page: Rosie grinned wide, her two bottom teeth showing, eyes squinting in glee, and hands together clapping. John leaning close, arm around her waist; had turned smiling just before the flash blinded him. Sent before even looking at it.  
In Sherlock's writing: Message from John. 10:16  
[Missing Da! Please come home. Making biscuits for your return. -JW & RW])  
  


* * *

 


	5. Logs

**Entry 378**

  
It is becoming more and more impossible to resist going home and locking John and Rosie with me and never leaving, ever.  
Must finish. Must do this.


	6. Logs

**Entry 378B**

  
Could not resist any longer. Arrived at 221B B.S. to find John bathing Rosie. Sat in front of the door and listened until he brushed his teeth. He hums when he brushes his teeth. Not sure what melody it is. But it's... lovely. Went to sit on the sofa to wait for them, but I panicked when I heard them come out. I quickly laid on the sofa in mind palace pose. John believed it.  
He said good night and went quietly to bed. After I heard the door close and waited for a moment, in case he came back down, I went upstairs and heard him change Rosie. He told her her bedtime story while he fed her. The adventures of the broken soldier and the genius madman. He's really unfair in his description of the soldier. And quite generous with the one of the madman. But he is a romantic...  
It has been three days since the morning John did the thing that morning. And John insists on sending a text every day to inform me I am missed... by Rosie, of course.


	7. Logs

 

**Entry 379**

  
I didn't go out today to spend the morning with Rosie.  
Mrs. H took her for a while, when I received a call from Victor.  
John came home early. Very early.  
He heard me arguing with Victor) He startled me and I stumbled to the door but hit myself trying not to trip and break the thing. The night stand broke my fall.  
John became very concerned. I tried to distract him by snapping at him about some food or other on the floor while I hid my face in the sofa back and tried to clean my laceration. It didn't work.  
But he took to tending after the bags. He had chocolates. My favourite brand. With a note. Vous tenez le cœur de cet homme entre vos mains. From the checkout woman at Tesco. She's an idiot.  
John found my laceration. I tried teasing him. To distract him. But it didn't work. And he touched me. His hand on my jaw. His warm tender hand.  
I said I was fine but he screamed back. I always mess things up. Always.  
He took me to the lavatory and fixed me up. Like he always does. His tender touches and warm looks. He always looks at me with warm eyes. Why do they call it warm eyes? There's no heat. But it warmed every part of me inside. So when he asked what happened I couldn't refuse.  
I told him how it happened. The transport betraying me with heat behind my cheeks.  
He looked at me with such tenderness. Like I was the only important thing in the world and fear at the same time. And then he said it.  
"Just be... more careful, Sherlock. We need you in one piece."  
We. There it was again. That little word that made me all warm inside. John had his hand on top of mine, on my knee. John was so warm. John is always so warm.  
I bolted from the seat. John reached and grabbed my wrist. He called for me. But I couldn't stay. I said I had something to do. I didn't mean in it to sound so harsh. I had to get out of there. Immediately! Before I ruined everything. Us. Him. Me. Again. I looked down at our joined hands and tears came to the corners of my eyes. I can't ruin this. John is back to Baker Street. And I have Rosie now. It is not time to be selfish.  
John followed my gaze and let go instantly.  
I dashed to my room, slamming the door behind. Leaning on the back of the door and struggling for breath as my transport betrayed me and shed tears.  
I heard John slip to the floor opposite me. How could I be so selfish! How could I hurt him again! Maybe this was a bad idea. Or maybe I should tell him.  
I had to get out of there!  
I quickly changed in to my clothes and headed out.  
John reached out and grabbed my elbow. And immediately let go. "Sorry." Why does he always apologize for things that are my fault?  
Said it was fine and just froze there in the middle of the kitchen and lounge.  
John lost it.  
He thinks I flinch because of him. Something he did? That he keeps hurting me? But that's not it. I'm the one who keeps hurting him. Then he asked about Victor again. He thinks he is my supplier. John was screaming. Nose flaring. Hands and forehead sweaty. Eyebrows raised.  
I always ruin everything. I hurt him again. How could he trust me? Of course he thought I went back to drugs. Why wouldn't he? With my secret and running off every day.  
He asked where I went all day. I couldn't think of what to say. I can't lie to him. I just froze. Looked into his deep blue eyes. Those eyes. How could I make those eyes water and turn red?  
Without losing eye contact, I rolled up my sleeves above the elbows. The old scars where fading now, almost gone. Just ghosts of punctures. Disgusting sight that I am. But I had to prove it to him. Had to ease him. And then it happened. I saw that look. Defeat. And I had to tell him. Could not let him think I don't. And I almost did tell him. But I cowered. And said I couldn't do that to Rosie. She's too important. I owe her my full abilities. He broke the eye contact. Holding my arms between sturdy warm fingers. I turned one hand around John's elbow and squeezed softly. Then quickly let go.  
Coward.  
I twisted away and left for the door.  
When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I informed him of Rosie's whereabouts. And her small injury and how to treat it. Not that I doubt his medical expertise. But I couldn't leave him just standing there not telling him that I... that I do.  
I left before he could respond.


	8. Logs

**Entry 380**

  
Confirmed time with Mycroft.  
He still thinks I should tell John. He doesn't understand. Guess he never has had a goldfish.  
However, Myc understands why I have to do it.  
I thanked him. Teasing about finding a goldfish to hide the sentiment in my voice.  
I smiled when I heard his deep chuckle.


	9. Logs

**Entry 381**

  
Mrs. H informed me of John's visit. He's becoming more suspicious. Must be careful.  
Found John in the rocking chair asleep. Helped him to bed and took Rosie down with me. Assured him won't be long.  
John woke up at 10:16. Nightmare again.  
Tried to get up, maybe go offer some comfort, but decided against it. Today was Rosie and I's morning.  
I must have fallen asleep, because John woke us up later.  
Rosie woke up smiling, looking between us. Insisting on calling me her special word in front of John. And he smiled. Genuine.  
He called me the same word and mentioned the picture he had sent me. I felt the heat rise to my face and hid immediately in Rosie's belly. Blowing noises and tickling her. She squirmed and laughed (Rosie's laugh #84) until her cheeks turned a pretty shade of crimson. John wouldn't take his eyes off us. And then he asked.  
"Who is Victor Trevor?"  
I froze, face still buried in Rosie's belly. Even Rosie froze. She tried to distract him but it didn't work. We argued about the relevance of that name.  
John left furious.  
What have I done! I should have told him. Told him he is the only one that matters to me. That Victor is nothing to me. I only need to get it back. I must get it back. Everything depends on it. My entire universe depends on it.  
Oh John! What have you done to me? You've made me... sentimental.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 382**

  
John hasn't come home.


	10. Logs

**Entry 383**

  
John still hasn't come home.  
I've tried everything.  
I've called him. Text him. Teased. Promised. He won't answer.  
Have I lost him?


	11. Logs

**Entry 384**

  
~~Stupid fat Mycroft!~~


	12. Logs

 

**Entry 385**

  
He. Said. It.  
Am I dreaming?  
Maybe I imagined it.  
But no, I couldn't have. Because. He. Kissed. Me.  
Those warm lips. So very warm. John is so warm. And soft. Warm and soft.  
John loves me.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 386**

  
Mycroft is not so...bad. Despicable, but not bad.  
He sent it. Not sure what he did to acquire it. But I have it.  
And John loves me.


	13. Logs

**Entry 387**

  
John insists on distracting me when I have so little time left.


	14. Logs

**Entry 388**

  
NO! NO! NO! Stupid fat Mycroft!  
It's ruined! It's all ruined! He knows my secret. It's all ruined!  
Although I'm surprised he forgot what day it is.

 

* * *

  
**Entry 389**

...

  
To be continued...

 


End file.
